Breakthrough

I had a big breakthrough this past weekend and I believe I am on my way to a couple more. I was able to tear down some walls that I had built up around myself to keep me safe. I was so afraid to break through those walls because I wasn't sure that I would hold up without them. Those walls were keeping me protected from what I thought was going to hurt me. I've known for the past 6 months that I needed to do something about these walls. I knew that when I finally tore them down I would be free, but I wasn't ready yet.

I know this all seems a little ambiguous. It is supposed to be. If you really want to know more about it just ask me. I can tell you that it was through painting that these walls began to fall down. I know...you might be surprised. Most people don't know that I enjoy painting. If you do know then you have probably lived with me or know me pretty well. In the past I would paint just because I enjoyed it. It was relaxing for me, but I usually never liked what I ended up painting. It wasn't good enough for me. I usually wouldn't ever show anyone what I had created. I didn't realize that it didn't matter what other people thought, but my walls kept me from seeing that.

This semseter I realized how much I missed painting along with all my other creative outlets. Through various people and experiences I started to realize that art is personal and unique to its creator. My creation doesn't have to look like the art you might find in a museum. Each creation tells a story about the person who created it. My art tells a story about me. I finally realized that this weekend. I was able to paint what I have experienced this semester. I painted freedom. I knocked down my walls and it felt great. I didn't feel the need to try to copy someone else's art...I created my own and actually liked the finished product. Now whether or not anyone else likes it is irrelevant. I painted it for me, not anyone else. I know the significance behind each brush stroke and that is good enough for me. This painting will be a reminder that I am free and that I want to live a life without walls. I would encourage you to do the same.