Breakthrough

I had a big breakthrough this past weekend and I believe I am on my way to a couple more. I was able to tear down some walls that I had built up around myself to keep me safe. I was so afraid to break through those walls because I wasn't sure that I would hold up without them. Those walls were keeping me protected from what I thought was going to hurt me. I've known for the past 6 months that I needed to do something about these walls. I knew that when I finally tore them down I would be free, but I wasn't ready yet.

I know this all seems a little ambiguous. It is supposed to be. If you really want to know more about it just ask me. I can tell you that it was through painting that these walls began to fall down. I know...you might be surprised. Most people don't know that I enjoy painting. If you do know then you have probably lived with me or know me pretty well. In the past I would paint just because I enjoyed it. It was relaxing for me, but I usually never liked what I ended up painting. It wasn't good enough for me. I usually wouldn't ever show anyone what I had created. I didn't realize that it didn't matter what other people thought, but my walls kept me from seeing that.

This semseter I realized how much I missed painting along with all my other creative outlets. Through various people and experiences I started to realize that art is personal and unique to its creator. My creation doesn't have to look like the art you might find in a museum. Each creation tells a story about the person who created it. My art tells a story about me. I finally realized that this weekend. I was able to paint what I have experienced this semester. I painted freedom. I knocked down my walls and it felt great. I didn't feel the need to try to copy someone else's art...I created my own and actually liked the finished product. Now whether or not anyone else likes it is irrelevant. I painted it for me, not anyone else. I know the significance behind each brush stroke and that is good enough for me. This painting will be a reminder that I am free and that I want to live a life without walls. I would encourage you to do the same.

Welcome!

Hello!

Those of you who have known me long enough know that I have tried blogs in the past, but I never seem to be able to keep up with them. Well, here I go again. I love to share with people what is going on in my life and most importantly, what God is revealing to me. In the past I've had funny blogs and serious blogs and totally random blogs. I have no idea what this one will be....probably a bit of everything.



I titled this blog "freedom" (notice the quotes all you fellow BI classmates!) because that seems to be what God has been teaching me this semester...how to be free. He has also be showing me how to find the beauty in each and every moment. It's there...sometimes you just have to open your eyes. Instead of wondering what my life is going to be like in 2 years, I am choosing to enjoy exactly where my life is now. I am learning to meet people where they are and not where I think they should be or would like them to be. Afterall, who am I to judge that anyway? I have learned to accept people as they are, and most importantly, to accept myself as I am. That is where the freedom is. I can't say that I have figured this out all by myself...not even close.



God has surrounded me with people that have taught me these things. I can tell when people feel free. There is nothing more refreshing. Seeing others comfortable in their own skin helped me to be comfortable in mine. Letting people see the real me has never come very easy for me. I thought that the real me was somehow never enough. My eyes have been opened to that lie. I have never felt more alive than I have these past couple of months. There are alot of variables that have gone into that, but I know the biggest one has been this whole freedom thing.



Getting to this point has had its ups and downs...and I know there are more ups and downs to come, but I am ready. I've never felt so ready. God is working and that is exciting. I think this picture is a great representation of my past 3 months.