I'm finished making plans...

I am a planner for the most part. I do enjoy the occasional spontaneous activity, but usually I like to make plans. I like to know what is coming so I can be ready for it. I like to be suprised sometimes, but not by big huge non-expected things. I suppose what I am really trying to say is that I don't like to be caught off guard by things (unpleasant things usually) I am not expecting....so this is why I make plans...to avoid being caught off guard.

Well you would think that by now I would have learned that you can't predict the future. I can make all the plans I want, but things change and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. I can prepare myself for what I think is going to happen, but then it doesn't happen...so where does that leave me? It leaves me frustrated and confused and mad at myself for once again trying to predict the future. I realize that I am not in control, God is.

Why do I try to control things? I suppose I think I know what is best for me and what I need...but that is totally ridiculous. God has proven to me time and time again that I don't know what is best at all. He does though. At least somebody knows what is going on in my life...maybe someday I will figure it out too.

I have to make a daily choice to wake up and trust God with my day. I have to trust him with not only things involving me, but things involving other people as well. When I see other people hurting, my first instinct is to fix it. That is not my job though. I can't fix people (another control issue). Really...only God can fix them. I can be His hands and feet and do what He asks of me, but ultimately God is the healer, not me. This is realllllly hard for me to accept because I absolutely hate to see people that are hurting, especially if it is someone close to me. I've tried to "fix" people in the past and learned that that usually only causes more pain. So, I must learn to trust God with the people I love. He will heal them in His timing, not mine.